in order to make a meal an extremely memorable one, every budding chef should take careful note of the following points:

1) ensure that no chilli sauce is served without first allowing it to marinate in the stifling singapore heat for no less than 5 days (do employ tasters with ample medical insurance to try out the sauce before serving)

2) to add an edge to lime juice (not to mention to cut cost), do remember to grind in the lime peel as well, for that grainy 'stuck-in-the-tastebuds' feel. if you want the lime juice to pack a punch, add in approximately half a cup full of your mother's favorite 'yummy lime dishwashing liquid' (please check for the 'safe on hands' label). definite character guaranteed.

3) use only plastic bowls and glasses (how ironic that a glass is made of plastic) that are at least 10 years of age. in order to cash in on the avant garde trend, do ensure that the bowls are suitably scratched and of a particular shade of boot black. for optimum results, try chipping off the edge with a free-swinging sledge hammer or manually adding some cracks by repeatedly clashing the crockery around with gay abandon.

4) last but not least, the impression made should not only be limited to gastronomical indulgence. to go all the way, mark up the price of the dish and the drink to exorbitant amounts. that way, if the person consuming the food does not remember the store, the wallet will.

bon appetit