now that i might truly head back to taiwan for university next year, i wonder if the decision i am making is the right one. getting out of singapore has been the ambition of my lifetime - still is, in fact.

i neednt elaborate on what i dont like about the place. i believe that if you've known me long enough you'd know already. sure, it isnt bad, truly, but i feel that i do not belong here. i know some people are going to berate me for the way ive cussed and complained about life in singapore, but hey for those of you who have not stayed in singapore you have NOT experienced how life is over here and therefore it deprives you of ANY right to comment that im not being loyal to my birth-country, so to speak. to do otherwise is simply hogwash, besides wasting precious time and energy.

but i digress.

like i said earlier on, singapore isnt that bad. ive often looked out of the bus windows and tried to imagine what singapore would be like if it had been located somewhere else on the globe. pretty good i should think. but then, a country isnt made of geographical factors alone. people play a part too. when i say people, i mean its citizens and government. especially the government.

but i wonder if it is simply a question of the chicken or the egg.

does the government shape the culture of the nation, or do the people influence the government?

that aside, ive been thinking if i were to up and leave singapore, i would be leaving friends and family behind. well, my immediate family, that is. one extremely bad thing about being brought up in a foreign country with only parents for company is that there is a very strong sense of attachment. the attention and interaction isnt spread among relatives, so to speak. perhaps that's why i am so fearful of my parents dying.

going back to taiwan would mean that i would finally be able to experience life with aunties, uncles, gramps, counsins, the whole works. but doing that would mean that i would miss out life here with my parents and brother. god forbid, i might even miss the breaking of my brother's voice! horrors.

i guess you cant have your cake and eat it too huh?

i have run out of steam.

toodles.