too soon. too little.

its 2:45 am in the morning and i am still up. the long arms of fatigue have yet to embrace me, but im sure they'll be here in no time. ive been blog surfing and so many people i know are right now up to their neck (necks?) in college applications.

it wont be too soon before i have to fill in my application form. as a matter of fact, the event's a mere month away. much too soon. i cant believe, what with 14 years of education in my pocket, this is the most important moment of all. the most important moment of all and i am afraid to fill in the words.

our generation knows too much. perhaps it helps us make more informed choices and better decisions but somewhere along our journey to greater knowledge we lose our intuition and direction. we are distracted by the constant voices of our parents, the media and other people telling us what we wish to do in the future isnt monetarily feasible, is too tough, not respectable enough.

i dont know what the future holds for me, to borrow a tired cliche. but i hope when i fill in that form i will be taking the first step towards the sort of career that, after 40 years at it, i can look back and say, well, its what i wanted to do, afterall.