Diversity

Diversity. Everyone seeks diversity nowadays.

Chinese parents especially. Especially Chinese parents in Singapore.

Yes. Right here in the land of No Chewing Gum, parents realize that it is no longer enough for their children to be straight A students. Instead, they turn hopefully to diversity. That's right, Singapore is not only famous for caning Michael Faye but also for producing such sensational prototypes known as kiasu parents.

Kiasu = The acute, irrational fear of losing out to other people.

The result? Brilliant, all-rounded kids (no jokes on the size) like yours truly.

I started to play the piano at 2, mastered it at the ripe old age of 15, picking up along the way performance-level skills in guzheng and ruan - both traditional Chinese instruments. (DIVERSITY! screamed my mother) I can also, at the drop of a hat, tinker around with the classy cello and temperamental flute.

My parents, both avid watchers of the daily news, noted early in my developmental stage that global warming seemed to be the way of the future. In perfect kiasu and kiasee (read: fear of dying) style, packed me off for swimming lessons. But is sole survivability in the waves enough? Of course not! Not only did I have to attain the Gold Medal in swimming, I also had to attend the Life Saving course, which consisted largely of stripping myself of pyjamas while treading water and then desperately blowing air into rapidly deflating pant legs.

Always be prepared. That is my mom's motto. So one day if World War III strikes (and she believes it will soon, poor old soul) I will be fully prepared to nimbly catch a tossed grenade and with a swift swing of a seasoned arm, throw it away, and then somersault to safety.

You guessed it. She made me take up ball sports and gymnastics.

Needless to say, academic excellence was also stressed. Deprived of food and drink when my results were subpar (people who actually do know my grades, quit falling off your chair laughing), I took to ultimate time-saver - reading while on the potty. It worked, too. For most of my academic life, i was in the top 5% of the nation. Of course, modesty and humility are also my VERY strong points.

Despite being technical neanderthals themselves, my parents made sure that I was fully in tune with the technological age by purchasing a computer for me at age 10. Thanks to their foresight, I can now type at 108 wpm, giving me full authority to grind away at a 9 to 5 office job in a very prestigious offshore bank, while my skin dehydrates from the aircon, all the time earning peanuts. (I lied. I actually get paid in cash.)

I have to laud my parents' far-sightedness, though they often dismiss it as a biological effect of ageing. They made sure I was born in the sunny island of Singapore by orientating their biological clocks oh so carefully, just so I can experience life as a petal in the pot-pourri of races. I understand fully the importance of racial harmony, of tolerance, of mutual understanding. Without those one can hardly taste the ethnic beauty of roti-prata and the divine culture instilled in nasi-lemak. And dont even get me started on char kway teow.

Yet, right now World Peace is but the dream of many a Miss World nymph. So if you can't join them, you jolly well beat them. Thank god for the ability to curse in 3 languages (English, Chinese and German) and many a toothy dialect. And when the bad karma all comes screaming back at me, I can hop on the JetstarAsia plane back to Taiwan without the need for visa application. hah. (no, I do not acknowledge the fact that you too need not apply for a visa)

What can I say? I love diversity. I embrace it with open arms. Why? You ask.

Simply because at the end of the day, it lets me have my cake and eat it too. Because being Chinese, I am kiasu and because being kiasee I am saying all this bullshit because you at the university admissions department asked me to.

But of course you know I am kidding, dont you?

=)