Victoria Chern: An FAQ Primer


What is your full name?
Victoria Chyi-uei Chern


What is your age?
16 and a couple of months

What is your Social Security Number?
i have a social security number??? enlighten me please!


Um, wow. You really shouldn’t be posting that type of information on the Internet, you know.
what information? oh my social security number? dont worry, its non-existent anyways. ;) and anyway why did you ask huh huh?


Identity thieves and such.
Oh. Is my identity that lucrative?


Oh yes. You're the object of everyone's desire. Everyone wants to be Victoria.
how nice. absolutely flattered. am i a flim-flammer and a philanderer as well? =) thanx for that.


You’re welcome. What's your Personality Type??
I'm a situational extrovert. Furthermore, my situational extroversion is very theatrical, and so it appears that i'm more outgoing that i actually am.

I think I went to high school with you. Did I?
who are you freak?

Your boyfriend wouldn’t mind if I asked you out, would he?
are you sure you are talking to me?? who's my boyfriend?


You’re not even the type to go for the swimwear model, are you?
Nope. I go more for the intellectual, religious, innocent-looking type who dresses conservatively. bahahahha. good, this.


Hi. I am an intellectual, religious, innocent-looking type who dresses conservatively. Would XY mind if you went out with me?
*asks invisible man* Yeah sorry he says he would mind. sorry to crush your hopes. how devastating it must be.


When are you going to update your haiku contest? Did you ever write any more of your novel? Why aren’t you writing film reviews very often anymore? Who was your tenth grade crush? Where are those three Burger King stories? Isn’t this page self-absorbed? Do you even care about other people? Why would people even want to read this page?


This FAQ is over.