now that christmas is drawing near, every department store you step into blasts wobbly-sounding music by a certain caroller-wannabe. in a seriously-shaky tone and suspicious pronounciation, he/she belts out repetoires of christmas classics, peppered with the head-banging drum beats, in a desperate attempt to liven up things. still other

now, with all that aside, i have issues with 'the little drummer's boy'. oh sure, its a beautiful song, for like the first 35 minutes. but eventually it gets on your nerves, those voices shrieking 'Rum pa pa pum!' For openers, drums do not go 'rum pa pa pum'. drums go 'rat tat tat tat'. There's also a line that goes 'the ox and lamb kept time'. Really? How? did they clack their hooves together, castanet-style? Did they dance? Are we supposed to believe that two barnyard animals with legume-level IQs spontaneously doing the macarena?

and if someone were to be taking care of a newborn baby, and a person comes around whacking on a drum, that person would find himself at the mergency room having his drumsticks surgically removed from his rum pa pa pum.

christmas songs are all good, with easy words to remember, like 'fa' and 'la'. But when you happen to be having a christmas party, someone would invariably launch into 'the twelve days of christmas'. the singers gamely struggle through the gold rings, the eggs alaying... but then things start to go horribly wrong, because in these hectic times, when everybody must remember an ATM code and 143 computer passwords, no body has the ample brain space to remember what my true love gave to me on all twelve days of christmas. when everything gets jumbled up and some moron starts singing 'the little drummer's boy' then your party is OVER.

and how many people, when hearing the words 'we three kings of orient are', even if you are attending a somber sermon, you find your brain automatically following up with 'smoking on a big fat rubber cigar'? me too, its like at the weddings, when the organist plays 'here comes the bride', everyone automatically responds 'big fat and wide'.

but that is not my point, no not at all. i have no point. i just want to wish all a happy holiday season, and to remind you that this is the season when we are loving and forgiving, and not easily offended by vicky the neanderthal's blog. may the days be merry and bright; may Jack Frost (well, for some) not nip too hard at your nose; may you be lessed with a big old bowl of figgy pudding; and may you truly understand the meaning of the words that have been a beacon of hope to humanity for thousands of years: "thumpety thump thump; thumpety thump thump; look at Frosty go"