I AM HUNGRY

rumble rumble toil and grumble

my stomach's twisted up in jumbles.

its 11 at night and i am lurking

waiting to finish off all them gherkins.

***

i creep into the kitchen and turn on the lights

lo and behold i got a massive fright

for there was my brother, mittens and all

eating cockroaches right off the wall

***

he chomped and chewed with obvious relish

with more joy than he did with mango radish

twirling a limp feeler round his finger

he wondered why flies didn't linger

***

gastric juices quickly subsiding,

i took my blankie back into hiding...

for never was there a story of more woe

than that of my brother and his slug roe.

***

and incidentally, i am no longer hungry.

*last two verses accredited to William Shakespeare (who never spelt his name as such)*