shh... hush hush

i wanna say something, something ive been wanting to say. i am shelled in the coat of PVC aura, just two layers, no more than that. it will not protect me from the bombs, the stones the firey joss sticks, but boy will it make me hot. yeah hot. dehydrating hot, but the other meaning i wouldnt mind either.

being effectively unable to construct comprehensible paragraphs of verbose arguments, i will list out little crumbs of what was a cookie of my thoughts. a forceful, stronglyworded warning though:

THE FOLLOWING ARE MERE RUMINATIONS ON MY PART. IT IS NOT MY DESIRE TO INSULT OR ATTEMPT TO QUESTION ANYONE'S BELIEVES (maybe attitude, yes) FEEL FREE TO COMMENT THOUGH.

on buddhism:
- the central idea of removing oneself from all earthly emotions (ie. love, family bonds).
- really, being a nun / monk is a form of escapism (why not read scripture at home?)
- is action really that conclusive a determination of one's qualities?

on religion:
- if all that we want is the road to happiness, does it matter which path we take - be it the rickety bridge or the pebble-paved sidewalk? we do not alienate fellow travellers because of their choice of roads, so why do so for people with different beliefs?
- the globe identifies continents, countries, but not streets and towns. is the bible not another form of the handy globe?
- it is my opinion (and i am entitled to having opinions) that religions were invented (hold the gasoline and rocks) to provide a support for Man in terms of explanations and reason. we are essentially little creatures living in a big, unknown world. reassurance and a yardstick make things easier.
- perhaps it is true that the more you love something, the more you are selfish, and possessive of what you own. ditto for religions. perhaps that explains why some people just simply cannot open their minds to other possibilities and opinions. maybe they fear that inquisition and influx of information might erode their trust and inject ideas (check out them i s!) against what they love the most. just a thought, but remember, once upon a time, the brightest scientists all agreed that the earth was flat.
- if the essence of all religions is love, why then, is the same love not extended to all? instead, it is often canned and rationed, given out to members of the VIP club, and other plebians tagged as 'foolish'

on atheists and Omelias:
- infuriated by the unfairness and brutal treatment of the THING, they declared that it was wrong. WRONG!! the THING should not be made to suffer, even though the sole suffering of the boy brought happiness for the entire town. inhumane! they cried. i would never want someone to do that for me! but it is strange, for someone did. Jesus was cruxified to atone for our sins. Jesus is the little boy in Omelias, the little boy is he. and the few people who walked away from Omelias, they were the atheists. they refused to let the boy suffer and they put their beliefs into action, if it meant being exposed to the pain and unhappiness of the REAL world (TM) (aka burning in ever lasting hell).
- perhaps the concept of hell only applies to those who believe in it? or is it only a more complicated manifestation of the ostrich syndrome?
- buddha, allah and jesus were all human. have we not chosen to name it as a religion we would have established a patriachy.

riso-hudson type enneagram (not so much as a blog post but somewhere to note down results heh)

according to the RHETI, i am of:

type 2 (the helper): generous, demonstrative, people-pleasing and possessive
type 7 (the enthusiast): spontaneous, versatile, distractible, and scattered
type 9 (the peacemaker): receptive, reassuring, accomodative, and complacent

and of the 3 triads of the enneagram (instinctive, feeling, thinking)

type 2 (in feeling triad): attempt to compensate for their underlying shame by getting other people to like them and to want them in their lives. they also want to convince THEMSELVES that they are good and loving by focusing on their positive feeligns for others while repressing their negative feelings (such as resentment at not being appreciated enough). As long as Twos can get positive emotional responses from others, they feel wanted and thus have value.

type 7 (the thinking triad): have anxiety about their inner world. there are feeligns of pain, loss, deprivation, and the general anxiety that Sevens would liek to avoid as much as possible. to cope with these feelings, Sevens keep their minds occupied with exciting possibilities and options - as long as they have something stimulating to anticipate, Sevesn feel that they can distract themselves from their fears. Sevens, in most cases, do not stop merely at thinking about these options, however. As much as possible, they attempt to actually realize as many of their options as they can. thus, Sevens can be found staying on the go, pursuing one experience after another, and keeping themsevles entertained, and engaged with their many ideas and activities.

type 9 (instinctive triad): deny their anger and instinctual energies as if to say, ''what anger? i am not a person who gets angry." Nines are the type most out of touch with their anger and instinctual energies, often feeling threatened by them. of course, Nines get angry like everyone else, but they try to stay out of their darker feelings by focusing on idealization of their relationships and their world.

a peek into the past

April 19th 2002

Vicky's Column

Robbie is currently taking a week-long vacation in the Madagascar, soaking in the warm rays of the equatorial sun.. hehe (jokes) ... in other words he is UNAVAILABLE this week (handphone not getting signal =O) ... so yeah i (the imposter) am standing in this week for him =) hope you guys dont get brain-freeze or something after reading this ... i'm no expert columnist!! heheheheh =) ok here goes nothing .... =O

Last year, my grandfather passed away, early in the morning. My father received a phone call from Taiwan. That's it. No warning nor time to prepare for what was going to happen. Growing up in Singapore, I never really got to know my grandfather well. To me, he was someone that came and went, someone whom I meet, if I'm lucky, once a year. A master of crafting, my grandfather would stoop over his worktable for hours at one go, smoking his pungent cigarette, carving beautiful patterns into the ugliest pebbles, and converting them into little works of art. I had always been curious about the way he makes things work, but never did I get up enough courage to ask. I guess I'll never get to do that now.

Just a few weeks ago, my aunt committed suicide, leaving behind her family. For every single day, my cousin went to bed in tears, blaming herself for not being more obedient, more caring. Most importantly, she regretted not being by her mother's side during the last few days of her life. She had never told her mother how much she loved her and how, despite all the disagreements, that all that she ever wanted was to be a good daughter.

Perhaps we are all guilty of taking things for granted, be it friendship or something of a deeper level, never cherishing something until we lose them. We think that what have been going for us will continue to, everyday. But unfortunately, that isn't so in many cases. People change, and things happen.

Therefore, treasure whatever you have today, show your gratitude and appreciation to the people around you! You wouldn't want to regret later... would you?

IMPOSTER!!--> Vicky taking charge this week=)
xxooxx

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no i wouldnt want to regret.

if looking at beautiful things made one beautiful,
and if looking at ugly things made one ugly,

then hell, we must all look like gargoyles now.

away away and away

the chimney sweep sweeps away all dirt
just like me with my little broom

sweep sweep sweep
the dust flies
and with a gust of wind
dissipates
never to be seen again

yay!

recount!

i wish i was there
to wave the flag
to shout it out

i wish i was there
the atmosphere
the strength

i wish i was there
to fight
for taiwan

its election time

you know, its irritating how everyone's treating taiwan politics as a huge joke. i mean, yeah well it IS some time, but it really is about a country's well-being and its people's welfare. its humiliating enough to have people laugh at your president and the cabinet (and truly, they brought it upon themselves) but still its hella embarrassing.

and i find it extremely REVOLTING that you people talk about taiwan politics like its your business. well its NOT okay? leave taiwan's politics to its people. don't comment if you dont know shit. it hella pisses me off.

oh yeah and what is wrong with you CHINA pple?? why on EARTH do you want to bomb people of your fellow race? do you really care so much about politics, or do you think its just a little game for kids to play huh? command and conquer? i dont think so. its people you are talking about here, declaring 'BOMB!!' would just make people HATE you. HATE HATE HATE you.

yeah and chen better not win tomorrow. taiwan's gonna go down if he does another 4 years, wut with his lousy character and sly tactics. up yours chen!

painting with time

when time runs its race, it makes us forget the bad, leaving us only with memories of the good, the beautiful. i do not remember so clearly now, the bad, the wrong. but i do remember the good, the beautiful, the happiness.

cancer

its screwing up the family. ive see so many die of it, directly and indirectly. i really dont wish for this to happen again. i want to do oncology in the future, but then maybe that will be a reminder of how powerless we really are, when the fact of the matter is that there are times when we are unable to save the people we most love.

oh yes, btw

just in case you didnt notice, i am OFF hiatus already

cold cold night

i would love to create a photoblog, but yet, 2 years after pestering my dad for a digicam, i am still without one. its funny you know, i wonder if people are more real online than they are in person. i guess it sways from one extreme to the next. i dont know. you tell me.

been thinking alot lately. about stuff. not really blog material but you should know that i thought alot about something lately. yep. and most likely NOT happy, cuz otherwise i would mention it.

bah. i cant write tonight so i will turn in now.

the end has come!

finally! exams have ended, now hopefully i just have to take one tiny little exam before entering uni. i know i'll just hate it when block test two come sitting on me.

hm. while the others are revelling in the movie theater and singing their hearts out (two separate groups of people, i hasten to add) i am at home blogging and waiting for dance lesson to start. oh the little fragments of joy.

ok ok so i broke the hiatus..

my OkCupid test results!